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  • Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water. ~Dave Barry, Why Humor Is Funny



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  • Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up. ~Author Unknown



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  • God is an unutterable sigh, planted in the depths of the soul. ~Jean Paul Richter



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  • Every man's memory is his private literature. ~Aldous Huxley



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  • In the final analysis the weakness of Black Power is its failure to see that the black man needs the white man and the white man needs the black man. ~Martin Luther King, Jr., Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community?, 1967



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  • I love my father as the stars - he's a bright shining example and a happy twinkling in my heart. ~Terri Guillemets



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  • California's a wonderful place to live - if you happen to be an orange. ~Author Unknown



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  • Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when it is the only one you have. ~Emile Chartier



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  • I'm a slow walker, but I never walk back. ~Abraham Lincoln



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  • Life is a cement trampoline. ~Howard Nordberg



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  • A mind of the calibre of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows. ~George Bernard Shaw



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  • Road rage is the expression of the amateur sociopath in all of us, cured by running into a professional. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



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  • Panic is a sudden desertion of us, and a going over to the enemy of our imagination. ~Christian Nevell Bovee



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  • The true man walks the earth as the stars walk the heavens, grandly obedient to those laws which are implanted in his nature. ~Lemuel K. Washburn, Is The Bible Worth Reading And Other Essays, 1911



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  • Sometimes the shortest distance between two points is a winding path walked arm in arm. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com



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  • Leisure: A fancy word for people who don't want to admit they're bored. ~Gene Perret



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  • If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while. ~Joseph Schenck



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  • If everyone is thinking alike then somebody isn't thinking. ~George S. Patton



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  • There is nothing so well known as that we should not expect something for nothing - but we all do and call it Hope. ~Edgar Howe



    There is hardly one in three of us who live in the cities who is not sick with unused self. ~Ben Hecht



    Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good. ~Author Unknown, commonly misattributed to Samuel Johnson (*) (Thank you, Frank Lynch.)



    Quote A: �A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.� ~Miguel de Cervantes



    We have, I fear, confused power with greatness. ~Stewart Udall



    I sometimes think of what future historians will say of us. A single sentence will suffice for modern man: He fornicated and read the papers. ~Albert Camus

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